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January 02 Its that time of year again.......when people start to ponder over their useless lives, regret the things they've done and make futile resolutions which will last all of one week.... People up and down the country will be looking at their bank balances, relationships and waist (or lack of the first two and an excess of the third). People will be sitting back and making resolutions in a attempt to become better... So, hey, why should I be left out!!! I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring! So here's my attempt at making a futile gesture.... (in no particular order)... 1. Become a better muslim - both in terms of practising what I know and learning more. 2. Look after my health - do more exercise (gym, badminton, football, kickboxing and squash). 3. Save more (become a tight @rse scrooge - some people already say I am one). 4. Do more for myself (go out more, see more friends). 5. Look out for number one (say no more to people and yes to me). These are fairly general, but they are more a statement of the peron I want to be. Lets meet in a year's time to check the progress. December 26 The year that was... the year that will be (part one)Well its coming to that time of year when a one reflects upon the actions (or inactions) and the results (or lack of) that have occurred in the past year...
So why should I feel left out... me thinks I should dissect the past year as well...
Well it started on a mixed note....
I did the greatest thing that I have done and had the most exhilarating experience of my life. I completed the Hajj (pilgrimmage to Makkah). This was the best thing that I have ever done on a personal and spiritual level.
At the same time I had suffered (what I felt and still feel to be) a great loss, from which I still do not feel I have recovered - and s=in some instances feel further embroiled!
When I returned from the Hajj I hoped to be a better person, however I feel that I have slipped back into the same old routine, the same old life!
In the last year I have dicsovered a great deal of new friends and a lot of old friends have stood by me to carry me through the tough and help me share the joy. Some dear friends have gotten married (Naeeem, Nazia, Mustafa), and some dear friends have departed this world.
I've had three car crashes (and walked away from each unscathed)!!!
I've found a new job that I really enjoy. This has been a great help to me... as I can go to work and switch of from my life and plough through the day. Work has been a hard slog at times. There have been a few late nights, and a lot of things to learn 9and a few mistakes made. But overall, I think that I have made a good impression.
At the same time, I have moved to a place which is much more suited to me. Its also a fantastic block.
On a spiritual note, I had hoped that the Hajj would improve my deeds and actions (not that they were terrible before hand). And, for a while I felt that I was "a better person"... but after the initial high wore off... I feel that I have drifted back into the same old routine :-(
My weight has yo-yo'd from 11 1/2 stone to 14 stone (and at the time of writing I feel I'm towards the wrong end of that scale!!!). I've lost more hair (well I wasn't really going to get it back now was I!!!!!).
I've started a kickboxing class and started to have some propoer treatment for my shoulder (although I haven't really kept up the exercises that I'm meant to)...
My sister has had a alien frog... oops I mean I cute baby daughter!!!! (Who apparently looks exactly like me - which means she must be stunning!!!!!
There hasn't really been any movement on the marriage front... unfortunately! so please guys and gals keep your eyes peeled!
From all the above I would say that, even though I'mnot where I want to be I have generally moved on in life. The only real negative (and this does at times outweigh the positive) is the fact that I am still tied into the loss that I have suffered. I feel almost tied to it by a weighty chain. And unable to break loose - even though I have tried hard (although not hard enough!).
Would I change anything - yes, one thing and one thing only - I wish I could be more ruthless and cold hearted and learn to sever the ties that do me more damaage than good. I wish I would stop putting others before me. April 20 This blog is closedDear readers this blog will be closed, I will no longer be putting updates on, apologies dear fan club! (To be honest I don't think I had that many readers anyway!
But just to keep you updated, there have been some changes to my life...
I have a new job (working for Petro-Canada) in central London and a new (ish) car. I will be moving house as soon as I find somewhere to live (within the next two weeks). March 27 The pastThrough loyalty to the past, our mind refuses to realize that tomorrow's joy is possible only if today makes way for it; that each wave owes the beauty of its line only to the withdrawal of the preceding one.
- André Gide March 24 End of the weekIts the end of another week, and life seems to have slowed to a snails pace...... nothing much to report..... hope you guys reading this can fill me in on what's been happening in your lives! March 14 MY NEW MOTTOI have a new motto in life.... ...its from the movie HEAT.... "Never get attached to anything on the street that you can't drop in sixty seconds flat when you feel the heat around the corner." Those who know me will know what it means and why! October 30 PicsI've added some pics check em out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! August 04 Words of EncouragementI dropped these words of of encourgement... and I thought I'd share them ... let me know you're thoughts... Life brings many ups and downs.... sometimes the downs seem to last forever... but always try to look at the long term big picture and imagine life is just a big slab of rock... if u keep chipping away at it over time then eventually you'll see the results...it may take a long time...but a few things to remember are: 1) celebrate even the smallest victories as you never know when the next one will come... (and it gives you an excuse to party and revel in your glory!!!!!!!!) 2) stand back and look at what you've achieved, if you compare it to your starting point you'll be amazed!!! (Again this gives you time to a. chill and laze about and b. celebrate and party!!!!) 3) you need to have the vision to look forward and imagine/dream what this slab of rock we call life will become...without the hope this vision brings life may seem empty... (and as everyone knows day-dreaming and sleeping are my biggest hobbies). Well let me know if these words mean anything or add any you think have helped you... will help others... Take hold of every momentA friend e-mailed this to me and I thought it was something that was very true and should be shared... TAKE HOLD OF EVERY MOMENT A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package."He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion". I still think those words changed my life.Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days". I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about. If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that "One day" is far away... or might never come... August 02 The WindowI haven't posted for a while... and my solution take the lazy man's option and post something someone else wrote... here's a story someone e-mailed me... enjoy..
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you." Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. Remember.... People will forget what you said.. People will forget what you did... But people will never forget how you made them feel... (Originally posted on May 18 2005 on www.salimsuleman.blogspot.com) |
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